Archive for June, 2015

EAVESDROPPING

Posted: June 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

All out of inspiration….

Posted: June 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

I haven’t been writing anything for over an year now or maybe even more. I am out of inspirations… its like there is a leech which is sucking all of the ideas out of my head. I have become lethargic, I don’t feel like doing anything. I am taking work for granted but still somehow I have made a good impression among my colleagues and my employer. An impression so good that I don’t feel like I deserve all of this recognition. I hate mediocrity and I have loathed mediocre people all my life but somehow I am turning into something I hated the most. I believe that I can and I should give in my 100% at all times, not just in life but life in general. I believe that I have the capability to do so much more. I have a friend who I call ‘AJ’, he believes in me more than I do or more likely more than I ever will. I just hate the fact that I don’t trust myself enough to accomplish things. I’d rather trust my own life in someone else’s hand rather than on my own. I had a teacher and she used to say that “Faizan, you need to have confidence in yourself”. She was spot on, I didn’t have faith in myself then and I don’t ┬áhave faith in myself now. Its like I am stuck in a Black Hole of self-doubt and I can’t seem to get out of it. Sometimes I fear that I don’t want to get out of it. Sometimes I feel like I enjoy it, I have become ‘One’ with it. Sometimes I believe that I have lost the meaning of being who I am or Who I was.

I need an inspiration and I can’t find one.